I hope your Thursday is going well… Hold on the weekend is not far 🙂
Today it was a special day…I returned to my hometown after a while… I was thikning of what to post today and on my way home it hit me…
In my mind, hometown means “past”. Sometimes, dealing with your past, is not one of the most pleasant experiences.
It really is hard. But it is also a process that could help you grow in the most beautiful way. Being ok with your past, means that you have accepted yourself, or at least your old self. It means that you have managed to adopt brand new habits, which make your everyday life much better. With other words, you are happy.
But what does it get to achieve something like this? How do you get to a point where you can finally say “the past is the past” and really mean it?
Each person goes through a different experience. I am not going to give some kind of shortcut. I’m just going to list what helped me and what I understood while going through that process.
- Define the problem
First and foremost you have to understand the problem. Do you really have a problem with your past? Or are you creating drama just for the sake of it?
If the answer is yes, then all you have to do is take a paper and a pen and write it. Put into words what you are thinking. Writing what you think, basically forces you to consider every single detail of the problem.
There are two possible cases: 1) you will realize that in reality there is no problem or 2) you will better understand the problem and from there it will be easier to make a “plan” in order to get out of it
- Who provokes the problem
Even if you define the problem, there is still other factors which may prevent you from solving it. For example other people (friends, relationships, relatives etc.)
Many of us, have the habit of “keeping” our old friends around, because we can’t let go of a certain part of our lives.
The issue here is that your 15 year old self, has nothing to do with your 18 or 22 year old self. You are constantly growing. If your surroundings do not fit to that growth, maybe, it is time to let go of them.
Growth is what defines your future. You can’t block your future, by staying stuck in your past relationships.
If you have already done the above, you have pretty much gone through the hard part… So now everything is up to you…
- See the big picture
Inform yourself about what is going on around you! Understand that there are so many problems in this world, but also so many places to see, so many people to meet. Just keep going, your past, a loss, a breakup, are only one small chapter of your life and it’s up to you to fill it with as many chapters as you can 😉
- Set a new goal
Yes I know, everyone is talking about goals. I am not saying that your next goal should be something like “I will be the next president of the US”. It could be something small, something like “today I will smile a little bit more” or “today I will express to my friends how important they are to me”. Something that is going to distract your mind from your past problems.
- Find people who empower you
Not much to say here. Just make sure that your friends fill you up with positivity and love.
- Focus on yourself-Be a little bit selfish
Just spend time alone. It is amazing what you learn about yourself when there is no one around. Go for a walk, read a book, dance alone in your home, cry. Anything you need to feel better. Take the time to appreciate where you are now, and decide, where you want go next.
Just go away from situations that no longer serve you.
Try to become the person you want to be, and keep trying until you be it. If you don’t, you will keep coming back to your past.
Understand that your past shaped the person you are today, but the person you are going to be tomorrow is only defined by what you to in the present.
Be confidetn and what you love,