Hello everyone! I hope you are all doing fine.
So I figured that if I am going to give you advice on healthy living, first I have to inform you on my eating and health background.
I am going to start my storytelling by giving you a short timeline:
2011: Unhealthy eating
2011-2014: Healthy eating and restricting calories
Winter and Spring 2014: Eating disorder-Binge eating
Summer 2014: Weight Loss
Autumn 2014: Weight gain
September 2015: “Normal eating”
September 2015 until today: Stable Weight and Consistent Exercise à Happy Balanced Lifestyle
- Unhealthy eating
So the definition of unhealthy eating could differ for each person. For me was basically eating lots of sweets and not listening to my body, which means not eating when I am actually hungry and not stopping when I am actually full. Although I was exercising 4-5 times a week, my body could not “be fit” basically because of my diet.
This way of eating lasted for about 6 years. It came with a lot of low self-esteem and struggling to be confident.
The main memories I have from that time are binge eating at night (when parents were not around) and feeling guilty because I knew that I will gain weight
Healthy eating and restricting calories
In my last two high school years, I decided to lose weight. Unfortunately, I did it the unhealthy way. I wanted fast results so badly, that I was eating less than 800 calories a day. At first it was easy, because my body was so full of calories from my past eating habits. I started losing weight relatively fast and I was really satisfied, so satisfied that some days I was restricting my calories even more. The positive comments of “oh did you lose weight”, made me even more determined to continue my weight loss. So I did.
- Eating disorder-Binge eating
September 2013 was my first year in university and also the beginning of me trying to be a professional dancer. I was obsessed with my dream of dancing professionally. But I did not know that what I was about to see, was going to bring my obsession with restricting calories even further.
When I was in dance class the only thing I saw were skinny girls. I could not help myself, but compare my body to theirs. My conclusion was that I had to lose more weight. AGAIN.
I remember eating a slice of bread in the morning, on cereal bar for lunch and one for dinner.
Soon Binge Eating Disorder hit my door. For 2 years all I was doing was circles. I would eat very little or anything at all for 5 days and binge like crazy on unhealthy food for 2 days.
Back then I thought that I will never get out of it and I just had to accept that I was going to live with it for my whole life.
- Weight Loss
Although there were a lot of binges I managed to lose more weight, basically because 5 days/week I didn’t eat anything.
- Weight Gain
After the weight loss, I experienced a break up, which made me go completely out of track. I put back all the weight that I’ve lost. In your ears that might sound bad, but sometimes I think that this experience somehow saved me, because I was basically leading myself to anorexia. The breakup woke me up and made me understand that I had to love myself because in reality this is all we have.
My confidence was lower than ever. I was hardly going out and was always finding excuse to stay at home.
- “Normal” Eating
This situation went on until September 2015. Then, I decided to do some serious research about how I could overcome the disorder. I stumbled upon several vegan channels, which suggested a vegan died as a cure.
By then I had already tried everything so I hadn’t anything to lose.
After being vegan for 3.5 months my disorder was a lot better. I was finally enjoying food and didn’t see it as the “enemy”.
Of course I gained weight, but I knew that this was the only way to be healthy again and fix my metabolism.
I also incorporated regular exercise into my lifestyle. I did what was enjoyable for me and not what is trending. That way I learned to love exercise and to see it as time which I spend quality time with myself.
The eating disorder thoughts are still in my mind, but it is a slow recovery that I am willing to complete.
If you are experiencing something similar ask me anything. Just remember that what you are experiencing now CAN go away… It is all up to you!
Be confident and do what you love