Confidence Issue #1 : Appearance

Instagram. Facebook. Youtube. The tools of building the standards of beauty.

Unfortunately or fortunately, those standards do not fit our reality.THE NEW YOU.png

When something does not fit your reality, it messes up with your mind.

Usually, the perception of appearance is the part of the mind, which these standards affect.


Perception of appearance messes with your confidence. If you don’t at least look something like the standards, something’s wrong with you”. The hard part of today’s society s that everyone makes you think that something’s wrong with you. In reality the way society is made is what needs to be fixed.

So what can you do to see things from a different point of view and finally don’t let  appearance control your mind?Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

1.Sometimes comparing is beneficial

Everyone knows that comparing yourself to others is one of the worst things you could do to your mind. Although it sounds completely unreasonable, sometimes you may need it. Why? Because it’s a good way to see if your mind is working based on the current reality or to finally accept that you mind is not meant to compromise with the current reality. So going back to ‘appearance’, a good way to change the way you think about it, is to compare your lifestyle to the lifestyle of the people you think you “admire”. The people who “fit your standards of beauty”. You will find lots of differences. You will realize that these people maybe are in a different state in their lives not because they are blessed by luck,  but because they have a completely different lifestyle, compared to yours.

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For example, do you spend more hours at the gym or do you spend most of the day practicing piano? When you wake up in the morning what’s your first thought, to do your hair or to be on time in class? Maybe it’s time to change your daily life by including things you really want to do…maybe not. The decision is yours. It’s up to you to think “why” you want to change. If the reason is deep and true you should do it.

2.”Do I look good?” : You are the only one who defines that

Focus on how you feel and not on what others say. By saying others I mean everyone, even your closest friend, even your mother. Someone else’s perception of skinny or fat, is most likely to be totally different from your perspective.  So, how you feel does not depend on how you look. Basically it depends on your energy. If your energy is positive you feel good, if your energy is negative you feel bad. Sounds simple, but it’s not!

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You have to find both practical and mental ways to “fix” your energy. To give you an example, a practical way to stay positive is exercising. A mental way is to meditate. If you have more suggestions on how to deal with your energy, comment below 😉

3.Loneliness generates confidence. Not isolation. The “Boy Criterion”

Unfortunately, a lot of girls/women, connect their confidence to the “number” men they have gained. They feel “ugly” when they are not into a relationship and they do not seem to find their way to confidence. How to Get Away from their Past They can’t see that this “lonely time” is a chance to find themselves. To discover every part of their personality.  To live as many experiences they can.

To walk alone means to be truly confident about who you are.

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It’s certainly a really difficult circle to get out from, but my answer to this dead end is that one : “find a higher purpose”. Find something that is mental. Find something that triggers your emotions and do it. Something that is higher than the weight on the scale or the boys in your life.

4.The right rolemodels will make the way to self-love much easier.

I started this post writing about social media. This is how I also want to close it. In my opinion nowadays, they are the main reason why everybody has confidence issues. Maybe it’s our fault. We are the ones who use them. If we could finally use them the right way maybe the situation would be different. We usually blame the “social media girls”, for posting perfect pictures which are not completely realistic. But let’s think twice. Why we even follow them? We know the situation. We know that what we see is not real.

I would love to see what influencers-rolemodels, you follow on social media. Leave their profiles on the comment section 😉

So, your confidence will be fine if you follow the right accounts. Follow real rolemodels. Not rolemodels who their standards of beauty.

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Overall, there are more ways that empower you confidence. Focus on them and let go of appearance.

Be confident and do what you love



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